The Sleep Mistake You Don't Know You're Making

If you've been struggling with sleep, chances are you've tried the obvious fix: going to bed earlier, sleeping in later, or squeezing in a nap to "catch up." It makes sense on paper. You're tired, so you give yourself more opportunity to sleep.

Here's the problem: this is often the single biggest thing keeping your sleep problems alive.

Why More Time in Bed Backfires

When you spend more time in bed than your body actually needs or is able to sleep, you end up lying there awake. Maybe you're staring at the ceiling at 5 a.m., unable to fall back asleep, but reluctant to get up because you "still have time." Maybe you're heading to bed at 9 p.m. hoping to bank some extra hours, only to lie there wide awake until 11.

Either way, you're now spending more of your time in bed awake than asleep. And that changes something important: your brain starts to associate your bed with wakefulness, frustration, and effort, instead of with sleep.

The Cycle That Keeps You Stuck

This creates a frustrating loop:

• You sleep poorly, so you extend your time in bed to compensate

• More time in bed means more time spent awake and frustrated

• Your brain strengthens the link between "bed" and "being awake"

• Your sleep becomes even less consistent and predictable

• You feel more exhausted, so you extend your time in bed even further

It's an understandable response to exhaustion, but it tends to make the underlying problem worse, not better.

What Helps Instead

The most effective approach usually looks like the opposite of what feels intuitive: rather than giving yourself more time in bed, you give yourself a more consistent, appropriately-sized window for sleep. This might mean:

• Keeping a consistent wake-up time, even after a rough night

• Getting out of bed if you're lying awake for a stretch, rather than "waiting it out"

• Resisting the urge to nap or sleep in to compensate for a bad night

• Trusting that sleep pressure builds naturally when you don't fight it with extra time in bed

This can feel counterintuitive, and even a little uncomfortable at first. But it's one of the most well-supported ways to rebuild a consistent, restful sleep pattern over time.

When to Get Support

If sleep struggles have become a regular part of your life, you don't have to sort it out alone and you don't have to keep guessing what will help. A tailored approach, especially one that looks at the specific patterns keeping your sleep stuck, can make a real difference.

Dani Alarie, MSW RSW, specializes in sleep disorders, anxiety, and phobias, and can help you build a plan that fits your life and actually works. Dani is a CACBT Certified Therapist who uses approaches like CBT for Insomnia (CBT-I) to support her clients in navigating sleep disorders and disruptions. Dani has availability for new clients on Wednesday evenings and offers direct billing to Medavie Blue Cross Insurance, VAC & RCMP.

If you're ready to stop struggling with sleep on your own, book a session with Dani to finally get the rest you deserve.